If there was an award for self-sabotage, I’d be winning it for this year. And then, I’d go and sabotage that too. That pretty much consolidates my feelings. I’m not being hard on myself, but I’m just amazed by my ability to throw myself to the sharks in an attempt to save myself from the alligators. Bad analogy, but whatever.

 
I love New Years because I love the illusion of a brand new 365 pages notebook. Makes me want to exhibit my calligraphy skills and fill it with bright blue ink and helpful sticky notes. Sometimes, I discard it after the first few pages have been filled. Oftentimes, when I’m not satisfied with a page, I tear it out and mindlessly shove it at some place that’ll remind me of it when I least want it to.
 
2012 wasn’t a good year, but it definitely was better than a few others. It was the year that taught me that nobody is indispensable and that at any low point in life, there’ll always be someone to reach out to you. There will be help and support, from directions you least expected, and that you’ll never walk alone.  It was the year which taught me that it was okay to be selfish and not extend help to someone when you’re in the process of healing yourself – you’d be of more harm than help if you try.
 
2012 taught me that it is good to dream for a perfect notebook and to be my best self while crafting it, and it also taught me to not be disappointed if it doesn’t turn out as well as I expected it to be. Because, our book is a reflection of who we are and if it was perfect, it wouldn’t be real. I’ve learned not to obsess over my blotchy pages, I’ve learned to be proud of my confident strokes. I’ve learned to add a sticky note to mock every torn page instead of trying to fix it with ugly looking cellotape. Most importantly, I’ve learned to appreciate others’ yearbook and take pride in what I’ve created.  I’m putting away 2012 as colourful book of faces, memories and places.
 
Bring out your book 2013, I’m  armed with tangerine, fuchsia and aquamarine 😀
 
-Sneha Sankar
Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham
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